Archive for March 2003

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GROUP OF SADDAM DOUBLES?

A flock? A gaggle? A crazy?

“OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM”

I like the name.

MAY GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS, OUR PRESIDENT, OUR NATION, AND THE INNOCENTS OF IRAQ. MAY THIS BE OVER QUICKLY AND WITH AS LITTLE BLOOD AS POSSIBLE.

COME TO THINK OF IT…

If we’re looking for the biggest surprise dawn pretty much works.

IT BEGINS

Between 3 and 15 Iraqi soldiers surrender.

HEHEH

The French’s Mustard people are trying to make sure people know they’re not actually French.

THIS APPARENTLY IS UNILATERAL

The list of nations in the coalition according to the State Department: Afghanistan, Albania, Australia, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Colombia, the Czech Republic, Denmark, El Salvador, Eritrea, Estonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Hungary, Italy, Japan, South Korea, Latvia, Lithuania, Macedonia, the Netherlands, Nicaragua, the Philippines, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, Spain, Turkey, United Kingdom, and Uzbekistan.

ESTRADA

Is that Estrada filibuster still going on? Haven’t heard anything about that in quite some time.

ANTI-WAR PROTESTOR TRANSLATION

This handy anti-war movement glossary is provided by Juan Gato by way of Right Wing News.

Nuance: Opposition to United States policy. Often expressed in simplistic terms.
Peace: The complete lack of action from the United States no matter how many must suffer or die.
Dissent: Wearing costumes.
Crushing of Dissent/McCarthyism: Publicly disagreeing with someone more noble. Publicly pointing out flaws in the arguments of those more noble.
Censorship: Only appearing on TV 5 times a week instead of the full 7.
Days of Action: Movie where Tom Cruise met Nicole Kidman.
Facts: Things that get in the way of Truth.
Truth: Something that must be believed regardless of facts. Example: 5,000 civilians were killed in Afghanistan. Did not actually happen, but the US wanted to kill that many and more so that means it is truth.
Racism: Thinking non-whites shouldn’t have to live under oppressive, murderous tyrants.
Solidarity: Public nudity to tell those who would be stoned for public nudity that, hey, we care because we’re naked.
Multilateral: Doing what the French want.
Unilateral: Going forward without the support of the New York Times.
Oil: When it ain’t the Jews, it’s this.
Militant: Anyone who kills a member of the oppressive power structure.

ROB’S 3RD LAW OF CONDIMENTS:

The probability of having salsa in the house is inversely proportional to the probability that you have tortilla chips.