Offered up by Neal Boortz:
Continuing their deep plunge into the abyss of political cluelessness, The Poodle’s campaign has now decided to accuse George Bush of trying to reinstate the draft. Really, is this the best they can do? How about a little show of imagination here? I’m known for my willingness to assist the clueless, so here are some suggestions for The Poodle’s handlers. Over the next 42 days they can make a series of statements to the media claiming that:
George Bush has a secret plan to destroy Social Security so that he can give more tax cuts to the wealthy.
George Bush has a secret plan to end Medicare. Let nature take its course.
Bush wants senior citizens to die. To hurry them along he will cut off their food supply.
George Bush has a secret plan to accelerate global warming.
George Bush wants the FCC to limit CBS newscasts to between 2:00 and 3:00 am.
George Bush wants to open an investigation into Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick. (Come to think of it, that’s not such a bad idea. If Bush’s National Guard service is fair game, let’s seek the Truth about Ted.)
George Bush wants $2.50 a gallon gas to enrich his Texas oil buddies.
George Bush wants to keep black citizens away from the polls with the possible exception of Colin Powell, Condi Rice and Clarence Thomas.
George Bush will start another war. He needs a war for each term. To save on transportation costs the next target will be Canada. He will use sealing our borders as an excuse.
The sad thing is, they’re already made most of those statements.