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Mitch Hedberg dead at 37

Mitch Hedberg, a St. Paul native whose space-case persona was as much part of his soul as it was his act, died early Wednesday morning in a New Jersey hotel room. He was 37. A medical examiner hasn’t issued findings, but Hedberg’s family is told he suffered a heart attack.

He was a damn funny guy.
“I like an escalator, because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You’ll never see an ‘Escalator Out of Order’ sign, only ‘Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'”
“I wrote a letter to my dad – I wrote, ‘I really enjoy being here,’ but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, ‘I rarely drive steamboats, dad – there’s a lot of shit you don’t know about me. Quit trying to act like I’m a steamboat operator.’ This letter took a harsh turn right away…
…and then at the end of the letter I like to write “P.S. – this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.”
“I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zip it up real quick?”
“I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store oftentimes I will drop it, so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.”
“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut…I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut – I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can’t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don’t even act like I didn’t buy a doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here…”
“This shirt is dry clean only. Which means…it’s dirty.”
“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move, you’re blocking a fire exit.’ As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”

Wow, what can you say about this?

Well, you know, they are manipulating the media… Probably the most flagrant example of that is the way they set up Dan Rather. Now, I mean, I have my own beliefs about how that happened: it originated with Karl Rove, in my belief, in the White House. They set that up with those false papers. Why did they do it? They knew that Bush was a draft dodger. They knew that he had run away from his responsibilties in the Air National Guard in Texas, gone out of the state intentionally for a long period of time. They knew that he had no defense for that period in his life. And so what they did was, expecting that that was going to come up, they accentuated it: they produced papers that made it look even worse. And they

I’m impressed

From the Enquirer’s Letters to the Editor:

There have been several letters expressing outrage at a recent letter writer’s suggestion that taxpayer money should not be used to aid the tsunami victims (“Tsunami aid should not be from taxpayers,” Jan. 5).
The letter writer is correct that there is no constitutional basis for such aid. The founders were not opposed to such aid, but they believed that charity was the role of private citizens and organizations, not the government.
Though there is nothing in the U.S. Constitution that justifies such spending, people should not be worried. There are myriad government programs without constitutional basis, such as education and welfare.
Everyone should relax. Our country departed from constitutional governance a long time ago, and we are in no danger of returning to it anytime soon.
Dave Matre
White Oak

How can you not admire irony as masterful as that? It’s a thing of beauty.

President Bush’s new ads are out

One lays out where John Kerry wants to take the country, the other where President Bush wants to lead it and how we can’t go back to the old way of thinking about threats to us.
They’re here.
There’s also a radio ad and the background facts for his claims about Kerry’s plan.
The question now is whether the Dems, who just today were complaining about how sensitive people were to attacks, will complain when the President lays out Kerry’s plan.